My Sister Tiffany....Her Story...

2:56 PM Keenya Kelly 0 Comments

Tiffany &  Her 3 Boys
Hello Everyone! This is my sister Tiffany. I recently posted a blog about my struggle growing up as a  brown-skin woman and how it effected the way I loved and treated my sister Tiffany. Well the night after I sent her a message telling her to check out the blog, and told her what I had written; her response was shocking. Disclaimer: My sister Tiffany and I love each other. We would do anything for one another, and we are the closets out of the 4 of us...this is just something that has never been talked about until now. She has given me her permission to share this with you all, and I am proud of her for that. This is something alot of you deal with on a daily basis, but noone seems to be talking about it. As of 12/1/10 her healing and restoration has begun...you will be seeing alot from her really soon. (Although she's older than me...that's my baby. lol. And she knows all about keeping that "lip gloss poppin."

Here is the interview:

Me: I blogged about you
Tiffany: What did you say?
Me: Talking about my struggle and how I hated you until I learned to love myself!
Tiffany: Why did you hate me? I've always tried to help you love yourself, we were always close. That kinda makes me sad because I hate being light skin. I wish I was darker.
Me: I hated myself then, not now! It was NOTHING you did. I explained all of that in the blog! It was the media and what I saw on tv...noone talked about brown skin until I weas in college. I'm good now homie.
Tiffany: Oh Ok
Me: What do you not like about being light skin?
Tiffany: EVERYTHING
Me: Like?
Tiffany: People look at me and assume I have a bad attitude, that I look rude and I am stuck up. People assume that because I am light-skin that we think we are cute, are better and guys are ALWAYS trying to hit on us. People calling me light-skin b's, yellow b's, pale face b's and my favorite pink b's. Peeople look at me and assume that I have a bad attitude and I look rude and stuck up. Its alot to still deal with.
Me: Wow! Now or back in the day? And How does all of that make you feel?
Tiffany: Now and its sickening. I can't even talk to people without everyone assuming I'm sleeping with lots of people, It is very frustrating and overwhelming at times. My own children think I am mixed! I tell them all the time I'm not but they say they are brown but mommy is yellow. People are always saying ho wpretty I am but I think I am a gross monster. They have always said that I was the pretty one out of my siters and hearing things like that messed me up. And Mommy made a difference between us and it hurt me. I feel horrible inside, I always have and that's why I ran to the comfort of boys because I thought it would make me feel better but it didnt.
Me: WOW! Mommy told you all of that??? (pissed) Do you think men made it better or worse?
Tiffany: I feel empty, ashamed, and disgusting all the time but I hide it with smiles but on the inside I'm tore up. I never got over any of the names you guys were calling me, and how I was treated. Trust me...it ruined me. Sometimes I did feel that I woul dhave to live up to the ligh skin stereotype but it wasn't me and I couldn't keep pretendeing to be a way that I wasn't.
Me: What did we call you?
Tiffany: Yellow heifers, yellow wantches, yellow b's, high yellow wantch, pie face...stuff like that.
Me: WOW! I don't remember any of that!! Tiffany I am so sorry! Wow! I'm so sorry! If I could evaluate it all, I know its because mommy treated you differently. That's not your fault at all, but because she chose to. Wow. I am so sorry. We were jealous! I can't believe mommy said all that stuff to you. (some stuff was omitted due to privacy)
Tiffany: Yes I know and me walking around knowing all of my sisters hated me sucked too! That's why I always tried to keep you guys talking to me, I would make a point to try and hang out with each of you when we were teenagers because I didnt want to lose you guys and you all hate me forever. To this day I still deal with people only seeing my beauty. They don't care about anything else and its tiring, depressing and frustrating.
Me: Have you ever told anyone this?
Tiffany: No not really. I dont think they would understand.
.......Took a Break...........
Me: You ok? You shared alot today?
Tiffany: Yeah nobody really knows, it was alot to deal with and it still is to this very day. I deal with issues on a daily basis, but I try not to let it bother me, but it does.
Me: Have you ever talked to mommy or has she ever apologized for all that random stuff?
Tiffany: No! It wouldnt really matter now. Too much time has passed and I listen to music to make me feel better.
Me: Alright well Tiff we need to begin praying about this. Sharing this on the blog will help...when I went to college I had to re-learn who I was outside of the lack of love I received from mommy and my pops.
Tiffany: I know, that's why I was always trying to tell you positive stuff about you and make you feel pretty. But knowing you guys hated me was hurtful.
Me: You definitely encouraged me alot. I remember you always telling me I was prettier than everyone else. Definitely remember winning homecoming and you being right there! Today is the first day of the new you Tiffany.

We continued our conversation and will talk more over the weekend. As shocking as it is for you to read, it was even more shocking to me because she is MY sister. There are 4 of us, but we are the youngest. We have talked about alot of things over the years, but NEVER this. I'm extremely proud of her for being willing to share this with you all, and even if she doesn't realize it yet..healing has begun!

This is just one story....most of you have dealt or are dealing with this same issue. It's time for it to be exposed and for you to be set free!!!!

...And for the record...I love my sister...and she loves me too!!! The next 30 years won't be anything like the last.

0 comments: