Responses from MEN about what they think about Natural Hair

2:26 PM Keenya Kelly 8 Comments

(Stock Photo of a Beautiful Black Man)
"God Made It And Said It Was Good"

Hey Beautiful People! I sent a message to a few of the men that I know. Each of them are different, married, engaged, single...ready to mingle. lol. I told them that there were no right or wrong answers, and since I didnt desire either of them, I told them to be completely honest as I wouldnt be offended. *This blog will consistently be updated, as the men respond to my questions.* Some of them are, yet informative. So check it...here they are:

Guy #1: "To b honest, I really prefer the perm I don't really like the natural look, I like it on some women, but not on my women. I equate natural to nappy, even if that's not necessarily the case but I just do. I have always preffered long, shiny soft hair. 1st UPDATE: I've always loved the long, soft, shiny over nappy bc for one my hair is nappy, all over even my eyebrows! I've always hated my hair. I enoy how long hair can be curled ( ahh I'm a sucka for curls), I love how healthy & soft it feels. Natural nappy hair rough & hard. I agree it does shout maturity & self confidence & all, & I'm definatly aginst the weev. The only reason I love shontell's hair is because its so soft & curly (again, I'm a sucka for curls lol). 2nd UPDATE: I asked would he be in agreement if his lady decided to go natural...he is his response. I don't think I would b in agreement, I respect co-pastor bc she keeps her hair ina way that bishop likes it, I believe the woman is an individual & all that. But I would like her to keep her hair ina a way that turns me on..ya kno? "

Guy #2: "Personally I think natural hair is cool on the right people. I'll take natural hair over some who "obviously" has weave in. It is a statement of maturity and let's me kno that you not afraid of being yourself. It's very attractive when pulled off the right way!! But if you don't have the time or means to keep it lookin cute most guys ain't checkin for it."

Guy #3: "women with natural hair get bonus points...the hair is healthier and in my opinion it looks better because it is naturally yours. It represents a sign of confidence, creativity, identity, comfort and much more. My only pet peeve is that when some women go natural...dont get so caught up in the natural identity that you forget to shave your underarms...a woman can have natural hair but doesnt mean she has to go natural all over her boooooooooody."

Guy #4: "First and foremost nothing I love more is when a woman is looking beautiful & with her hair on point(whether the hair is long, short, relaxed, straight, colored, or store bought).  I would prefer if a woman had natural hair(just like me J) & it definitely doesn’t always have to be straightened.  It’s not a deal breaker if the hair is or isn’t natural, but it’s about it being kept for me(call me superficial, but that’s me).  There are many different styles you can do(twists, puffs, afros, etc). I see a lot of misses but more hits with me at least.  I just think when it’s the little afro puffs, knotty looking hair, where it looks unkempt is what bothers me.  Especially when it looks like you need lawn care tools to work with it.  I know at the beginning I know it takes time to grow, but I’m not talking about during that period.  Also just because you are natural doesn’t mean you can’t put some oil sheen, grease, berries, almond oil, fruit juice, etc so the hair don’t look dry as a bad turkey either.  You know I pay attention to detail so I take notice.  If it was a face to face conversation or some pictures I can give clear examples of when it is done right & wrong.  Holla!!
Guy #5 "Me personally I don't have a preference on whether your hair is natural or relaxed..I'm not a fan of weave...but I', a firm believer that hair is just 1 attribute of a woman so it carries some importance but not all...whats compelling to me is how u keep your hair maintained...moreover..be happy about what u got and feel good about it...confidence is sexy...i think certain hairstyle do look better on different face shapes..but doesn't stop a man from being attractive to them for the most part...women stress over it more than notice it!"
Guy #6 "Growing up, I thought long relaxed hair was the greatest thing on a woman. As I grew older and matured, I found myself liking women with natural hair a little more but would still appreciate women who had the long relaxed look going too. I've come to realize recently that it wasn't the hair that I cared about as much as the woman. I was attracted to these women looking at the physical not even realizing that it was who they were on the inside that made me feel the way I felt about them. So I guess I'm trying to say that as a man, if we enter a partnership with a woman we should love them no matter how their hair looks because their hair is an extension of them and it's all good either way. For the record though, if I had a daughter, I would encourage her to go natural, it just exudes confidence to me"
Guy #7 "As a young man I never consciously said I would prefer relaxed over natural, but looking back I guess I did. Then again there were few if any females that were going natural. During my college years I seen more females, but still very few, with a twa (teeny weeny afro, pronounced twah, as a group of friends & myself called it). Many of the few with a twa were attractive in my opinion. Now as of recently, as I am maturing in Christ I still don't make a conscious decision of natural versus relaxed when looking at a female. As long as there's an attraction (& yes I do have to be physically attracted to a female to be with her) I will take the time to converse with her and make an attempt to be in a relationship with her. Now physical attraction for me entails more than her figure. The way she carries herself can increase or decrease her physical attraction, but that's a completely different topic so I won't go on a tangent. As a matter of fact I've recently crossed paths with a childhood friend, who I'll call Boops, that is natural & she is very attractive to me."

      Guy #8  "I promised you I'd give you the locker room perspective concerning natural hair, but I can't be an ambassodor for all men. But I will tell you as if I was in the locker room talking to the guys. Personally I like anything afro-centric anything natural, dreads& twists, is what I prefer, before  a Gabrielle Union, Tyra, Naomi or whatever is supposed to epitomize mainstream black beauty. Plus the oils smell good too, don't like T.C.B, pink oil moisterizer and whatever. If my wife has the straight flowing hair so be it, but I prefer enhanced natural hair.
  Now I'll never forget back in 96, and this brother was like I don't like Lauryn Hill plus her hair is nappy. I wasn't surprised being I was living in Southern California surrounded by women with more coarse hair I guess I would expect that. However, I feel when other blacks especially black men, make comments like she got Harriet Tubman hair or whatever, it makes me think they don't fully appreciate who we are as people. I never heard that comment, just a random thought. Fully appreciate as in even if I know I'm going to get a hand full of grease, natural oils to maintain in my hair after I caress it, it's all good I love that it's black it's beauty. I love the fact that a black woman may not like the fact the most men suffer from razor bumps to a certain degree she's still like that's my black man, that just comes with it. In the movie GOOD Hair a black man said he like the idea of being able to freely run his fingers through hair, TANGLE FREE, he didn't say that, just sounds like that's basically what he's saying.Who cares about that to me that's so slave-mentality so shallow. I can't stand shallow, and don't like much of anything mainstream, thats why I wonder what my woman of GOD is going to be like. A woman that goes natural to me shows that she comfortable in who she is, a non-conformist, but more of an innovator, taking that beauty of what is 100% her and making it transcend from the gym, church, to the boardroom.
     Just my opinion,
          But anybody who has issues with natural hair, dreads, twists, etc. I think is lacking cultural depth, no matter how many countries they have been too. However, I do like the blown up Afro, but that can be deflated at work to keep more proffesional. I mean even a mini-fro is cool, but not the big o'l Pam Grier fro. Black hair is strength, although i think men in corn rolls is a tired look. The term good hair is not in my vocab, because everything God make is good, he just made things to enhance them, and I don't mean relaxers to totally change the texture, I'm talking things like combs, good smelling oil shampoo to take care of them. Last example naturally I'm dark skin, and when I was 14 I had nice waves was told I was handsome, wasn't insecure about my darkskin atleast contiously, but subcontiously I put AMBI on my skin to make it a lil lighter... But see that's wrong because that's changing the natural tone of my skin, conforming to what I thought based on media what looks good,like the pretty boy dudes that used to be on the S-Curl boxes from back in the day. U didn't see Tyson Beckford on there. :) But see God created soap, and Black Opal, Kiehls, and a razor to maintain my skin, and it's tone, not try to be like Beyonce and upgrade. I conclude, natural beauty, natural hair is like a lovely cuisine made from scratch, totally organic, no man made sugars, just a great meal, that leave an indelible mark on your taste buds. Whereas, the everyday Doris Day,Beyonce, in my eyes is tolerable, but leaves an undesirable taste in mouth like two Mayo-infested dollar menu Mc Chicken sandwiches.  Oh yeah I do like the Halle Berry Cut from Boomerang, or the Anita Baker short cut, and if you don't have no hair to work with, even the Florida Evans look from Good Times is cool. She may have strong feautures but if we look deeper into admire her confidence and grace in how she carries herself that beauty speak louder than any Atlanta housewife hairstylist. I am not my hair is so true because it's not really yours to begin with. Her is a post from another black man name Phife from TRIBE CALLED QUEST IN 92. A classic example of how other black man feel about women trying to upgrade what GOD made good.:And take the Ccontact out your eye, you're far from lookin' fly
You get an E for effort, and T for nice try
Now tell me what's the reason, for dyin' your hair
Slum village gold still danglin in your ear
You barely have a neck but still sportin' a rope
Four-finger ring just so Phifer can scope
You looked in the mirror, didn't know what to do
Yesterday your eyes were brown but today they are blue
Your whole appearance is a lie and it could never be true
And if you really loved yourself then you would try and be you
If your hair and eyes were real, I wouldn't have dissed ya
But since it was bought, I had to dismiss ya
If you can't achieve it, then why not try and weave it
If you can't extend it then you might as well suspend it
If you can't braid it, best thing to do is fade it
I asked who did your hair and you tell me "Diane made it"
If you were you and just you, talk to you, maybe
But I can't stand, no bionic lady
Tryin' hard to look fly, but yo, you're lookin' dumber
If I wanted someone like you I woulda swung with Jamie Summers

Guy #9 "I'm attracted to the natural because its usually (not all the time) but usually a reflection of the individual who is conscience or aware of their culture. Its a reflection that the person is usually comfortable & secure with who they are. But mostly because they understand & value the natural beauty that God has bestowed upon women of color and they're not trying to fit into the European view or stereotype of what they impose that beauty is SUPPOSED to be."

Guy #10 "Let me first say this, men are motivated by what they see. And as a man who tends to see the big picture, my though is a woman's hair style seems only to reveal a portion of that which I admire about her beauty. Having a preference about hairstyle, to favor natural over processed or the opposite, FOR ME would in itself be a conscious denial of that which God intend to enrich my life. Denying the whole because of the part. Yeah, every guy has a personal preference, but I'm telling you, it doesn't really make a difference. Let me tell you why.. And I'm ONLY providing a few reasons... Whether natural or processed, if you're dating a black woman, you are going to see that natural or processed hair under a hat sometimes. You're going to see that natural or processed hair in a stocking cap, shower cap, or a rap sometimes. It's going to take on the shape of a pyramid or the shape of a round fruit sometimes. You are going to see the hair entangled with curlers or with enough hair pins to scramble your direct tv signal SOMETIMES. I mean, with all the different hairstyles women wear now days, it's truly a mixed bag. Remember Vanessa, Sondra, and Denise Huxtable? Nobody looked the same in that house. I grew up with two sisters, so I've seen it all... Mmmm... Well...Maybe some... lol

And, let me not fail to mention that, what you see at ONE time is not all(pronounced awl) of what you get! You know... It has been my observation of a tendency for SOME women with processed hair to be indecisive about wearing their hair long or short. They constantly seek something different. And it's ok. Barack Obama ran on a platform of change (Yes we can!) - so can you. I believe it's all good; God MADE it good. Even if the hair is short one week and long the next............... – sometimes she wants a shock to the system – something new. ;-) With that said, I will also say PLEASE give (us brothas) some warning if at all possible (that you've upgrade to version 2.0) prior to release, when the program calls for a (long-to-short/ short-to-long) change. :-) I hope my request was made clear. Each type of hairstyle has it's pro's and con's that I could possibly analyze; however, when you really love the hair, it's all good – even under the ball cap.

One other thought. When I entered graduate school a few years back, I noticed a trend among college educated black women to gravitate towards natural hairstyles. This group of women wearing a natural hairstyle, in my mind, I associated intellectualism and professionalism, with a strong sense of self and connection to their African American heritage. It's not a dead on assumption, because I didn't always find it to be true. Rocking a natural hair style doesn't make one socially conscious or connected to their heritage – or even an intellectual for that matter. You know, in some cases the natural hair style was sought after just for the sake of being different – to change the reflection in the mirror. Sometimes, that's all it is. It's still beautiful. It's still professional. And it's the same you, but different."

8 comments:

  1. As a woman, in general I think men prefer relaxed hair strictly from a visual standpoint. It's what they are used to and what the majority has going on right now. However if they were ever in a relationship with a woman with natural hair, they'd see how much more liberating it is for them, i.e. not having to wait forever for her to get ready, no weird head apparatus, no fear of water (think shower scene). At the end of the day, although men have preferences, the most attractive attribute on a woman is self confidence - that comes across loud and clear and crosses all preference boundaries....

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  2. Hey Keenya! Its Jared and as you know I'm natural with my locks. I can say without a shadow of a doubt that since I began my journey over 2 years ago that I really prefer women who are natural now. Don't get me wrong, I still like to see some sista's with long hair(but only if its truly theirs).

    For me, when I see a woman who is natural it makes me smile because to me thats a woman who is being who she is meant to be. Our hair not meant to be straight and permed but society has brain washed our people into thinking it should be.

    To each its own, be who you want to be by all means this is not a knock on women with permed hair but this a standing ovation for natural hair women!

    Glad to see that you accepting who you are...

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  3. Bless You Jared and thank you so much for responding! Ladies please feel free to respond or fellas you as well.!!

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  4. Great article! It's a beautiful thing to see so many of our Men and Women embracing natural beauty. We have come a long way with being secure with who we are as Women. I love being natural.

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